Greetings and Salutations.

Well hello there... 

Welcome... 

Come in and have a seat wont you? 

My name is Fatty, and I'm going to be sharing a year of amazing and horrible experiences with you.  Why you ask? Well because myself and my sister Lazy Ass thought it would be so exciting for you all to follow along as we try to desperately change our lifestyles. 

It may not seem to be entertaining now, but I assure you it will be.  When we started going to the gym a year ago you would not believe the funny things that happened and were said throughout our experiences.  This year we thought we would bring you all along on our crazy adventure as we jump back into the gym and healthy eating.  

Here is a little (long) background for you:

I am overweight (hence the amazingly creative self-given nickname of Fatty). I accepted this fact a little over a year ago.  Let me tell you I was way in denial. No not the river, the state of mind.  I wasn't so far gone that I was one of those fat chicks that wears the clothes that are WAY too small to try to give the optical illusion that I am indeed skinny, but I didn't realize that I was as fat as I truly was. I wore clothes that fit and most of you will never believe how big I was.  At the start of 2011 I weighed 205lbs. Yep. That number shocks me every time I see it. 

I wasn't happy about my weight but I had settled into it.  I had accepted my size 18 jeans and had convinced myself that I just could not lose weight.  So I unhappily moved through life. It wasn't until I started having some health problems that I realized I needed to change my diet.  Stabbing pain in your gallbladder for two weeks and several trips to the ER/Doctor/Vampire (they draw vials of blood, perhaps you have heard of them?) will really help convince someone it's time to make some changes. So I cut out some things from my diet and saw no changes in my waist line.

Finally one day I looked in the mirror and was surprisingly shocked.  HOLY BLUBBERING WHALE BATMAN! I ran to quickly grab my camera so I could capture proof of this land walking whale...Oh wait...thats me. Crap.  It was literally this moment that made me realize I needed an intervention, I had to find a way to remove my Siamese-Whale-Twin from my body and fast (and yes, that is a technical term).

I threw on my biggest oversize shirt (that turned out to not be all that over-sized any more) and some more comfortable, dare I say it, spandex pants and started working out.  Right there in my bedroom, staring this whale down in the mirror.  It did not take very long of my running in place to realize that not only had I acquired a whale, but I was seriously out of shape.  Long were the days of spending 6-8-hours in a row in dance classes. I could barely breath after a minute of this activity.  Hmm. Onto crunches...I could always do mass amounts of crunches in high-school.  Yeah no... that was 10 years ago.  Not happening.  Well I sadly gave up and got into bed.  

I didn't rest very well, I couldn't stop thinking that I needed a plan.  I finally decided I needed to go back to the gym.  I had this amazing membership to one of the best gyms in the area and it had been years since I had really used it...well besides going to the pool to order drinks from the really cute cabana boy.  WHAT?! Don't judge...that's totally working out.  I had to turn my head as I read my magazine...and I totally flipped over every 15 minutes or so. 

So this was it...tomorrow I go back to my gym and overcome my fear of being laughed at.  It's strange the things that get into your head.  I was worried I would be judged for being so overweight in a gym. The next night I put back on my most comfy and baggy clothes, grabbed my headphones and my iPhone and drove down to the gym.  I checked in, dropped stuff in a locker, grabbed my water bottle and a towel and headed up the flight of stairs to the gym floor (this place is cruel..I have to climb a flight of stairs to work out?! Where is the elevator?). I made it agonizingly through 25 minutes on an elliptical.  10 years ago that would have been a joke for me. Yet here I was red faced, sweaty, and trying carefully to catch my breath without letting anyone around me know I could not breathe.  That was day 1 of my changing. 

Over the next few months I spent a lot of time in the gym, taking classes, receiving a lot of help from an amazing trainer who goes by MAD.  I even took part in a 28 day cleanse that was one of the most difficult things I have ever done.  At the end of 4 months of religiously eating well, and working out I had lost 40lbs.  Yep. That's right, the chick who "couldn't" lose weight did. And a lot of it. I felt GREAT. It wasn't easy, it was a lot of work and mainly took a lot of self motivation and self control, two things I am not so great at.  It also helped that Lazy Ass was with me every step of the way. 

Throughout all this I started doing things that to me were completely amazing.  I am not a runner.  I never have been.  However after getting over my illogical fear of the gym, I decided this whole runner thing was just in my head.  Why can't I run? Well besides the fact that I never have ran, or that I haven't trained, or that I don't actually own running shoes (Apparently Sketcher's "Shape-Up" walking shoes don't count as running shoes).  NONSENSE. I CAN RUN! 

Five days away there was a 5k/10k run. I could at least walk it and get exercise right? Lazy Ass was right there with me.  We started "training" if you an call it that.  The first day it was more like a leisurely stroll through on one of the most beautiful trails with the kids.  We'd even stop to look at the squirrels, oh how they were merry. Oh, and to pet that completely adorable puppy (Can you blame us?.) After that first race where I ended up doing the 10k and Lazy Ass proved to not be so lazy and run the whole distance of the 5k without stopping, we signed up for a few more races together and had a lot of fun completing them.  She would do the 5k and run, I would do the 10k and stick to a run/walk interval. 

It wasn't too long that Lazy Ass and I started to fall off the wagon.  We'd have a little cake here, skip a cycle class there. Eventually I had no idea where my gym card was, and I was really just too busy with my life to bother to find it. OH and I started school which was taking up a lot of my time, oh and my baby has become a toddler and thats just so much work and time, I think you get the picture of the mass amounts of excuses I have now built back up.

Since then I have not even thought for a moment about what to eat.  I've been being a true fatty for the last 4 months. Pie, cake, cupcakes, cookies, eating out non stop, drinking etc.  My caloric intake is unheard of! I luckily have not put any weight back on but I feel horrible.  My bounding energy that I had found is gone, my gallbladder is so not happy with me, I'm breaking out like a teenager.  Each time I look into the mirror I can hear my whale half laughing at me.  And last night after some emails back and forth with Lazy Ass it hit me. I need to get back on the wagon and this time never get off. 

So starting January 1st, 2012 I'm going to war with my whale. Once and for all.  I have 35lbs to go and I'm giving myself a year to do it in.  So come along with Lazy Ass and I and join in for what I promise you will include many hilarious moments as we show that anyone can become healthy.